My thought during the hunt for my partner! (FEELING NOTES) - PART 1

It was different for me at first. I was in a thought that " Marriage can wait, education cannot " which slowly vanished from my mind when days passed... Then it was the second stage of my thought about the external appearance, which slowly disappeared and I started accepting the fact that Beauty is an abstract phenomenon. 

The one incident which shook me off  since a few days... that was one huge thought which loved to be in my head for days...which never let me out from it, for days..

It all started from that day when his father called., and my parents too discussed about the marriage and horoscope stuffs. Fortunately it got matched and it was all my parents wish to proceed as well as mine. Then came a news about the guy's minor health issue which put my family members into grief., still I was quiet confident that I like him as well as my dad. In fact after knowing the news, I became more keen on marrying him so that I could look after him well and I wished to be a reason for a person's smile and happiness... Waited for my family Doctor to decide. That was the only thing which haunted my mind without rest... No things went well that day., followed by next few days... I hoped for the best, but as usual the things went reverse,happened in doctor's way as well as my family members... they were all in agony that I am going to lose a good "sambantham". Mean time I was worried about him, his feelings. I could feel the pain he felt, the moods he went through at that time, the thoughts he underwent... I stood confident that I could make him feel better... Since these thoughts had no further support, tears were the end result. I started feeling guilty about my family's decision... I wanted to meet him and say some good words so that he would be happy and relaxed. I wanted to marry him only for this reason. I started stalking him on social medias and got him at-last. But I din't have the gut to talk which is one of my weak point. I was just a Genie from the lamp who needs to listen to my family who wish for my own good... All I do is to pray for him, his health and to get a better girl than me. 

This was the worst feeling I have ever felt. I am happy to know, there is some humanity and Love in me. I really feel worried for this, Still I strongly believe these worries will definitely have a meaning one day!!! I really respect the guy. There are strangers who wish good for you. 

Thought notes from my heart....